I know. I've been gone for a loooong time. And I sincerely apologize for that. Why you ask was I gone for a long time and not updating this blog?
Some reasons(if not excuses)are:
1. Blogger HANGS A LOT. I CANNOT STAND IT.
2. I've been kinda lazy :P
3...Well..Not really, since I update in my other blog more.
4. Something called "School" came up
5...And then suddenly, a thing called "Summer"
6. I've been uninspired lately by pop culture(the main topics of main blog entries).
But recently, the MET Gala happened and I realized for the first time since I had this blog, I'm not writing about it. It sucks. It made me realize that what a baaad blogger I am for not updating at all here.I totally lost my commitment to this one thing that meant so much to me.
I should've updated more often but better late than never, right? Hopefully, before school comes, I hope I could update more often here. I just have to. I miss writing about certain topics rather than anything up from my personal life(which my other blog consists of).
So, watch out for my irrelevant remarks on anything now. I am so back :D
Monday, May 13, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Perfect for Prom
My Prom will be in less than two months. While I have a dress that I'm 50% sure that I will wear, it won't hurt too look for some Prom dress inspirations. :D
I remember watching this episode of Gossip Girl and simply falling in love with Blair's whole look. She definitely fits as Prom Queen especially in the arms of Nate, the Prom King. Her dress is so marvelous! It's Marchesa so meaning not only is it One-of-a-kind and you won't run into anyone wearing the same dress like ever, it's damn expensive. Sigh. I wish I was a made-up Rich Upper East Side High School Queen Bee like Blair.
Jenny wears the best outfits in Gossip Girl(especially in the latter seasons) so it's no surprise that I really loved this dress on her from Andrew Gn. When I first saw it, it made my jaw drop. It was breathtaking and unique and very Jenny so that means it's very me(minus the social climbing and losing my virginity to Chuck Bass part).
Her whole look in her Cotillion ball was also fantastic. Love the mixture of the romantic and formal black dress and her tough leather hand gloves. My dress in prom is also this formal black dress that falls above the ankles and probably I might steal Jenny's look here.
Anne Hathaway in the Les Miserable premiere. One word: WOW. The black Tom Ford Gown and shoes. OMG. THE SHOES! I would totally wear that. Her look is sexy without the bastos factor, which is perfect for prom. It's like she has this huge injury in the leg that has black bandages wrapped around it, but gorge nonetheless. BONUS: I MIGHT HELP OUT IN CLEANING AFTER THE PROM THANKS TO THAT GARBAGE BAG ON THE BACK OF THAT DRESS. ;D
Kate Blanchett in Alexander McQueen. Very futuristic and unusual which I think is great for Prom. I don't know how you can sit in that, but the length and cut of this is great for dancing the whole night long. Imagine if my date(if ever I have one!)twirls me while I'm wearing this. Talo pa ang Disco ball sa akin!
Kate Middleton in Jenny Packham. My darling Blair also wore a dress similar to this in an episode of GG but I loved this look on Kate better. It looks so beautiful. She's so beautiful. And the hair and makeup is a complete contrast to the sparkly pink and silver oeverload of the dress because it's natural and effortless.
source
Confession: It's like this secret dream of mine to wear a tux to Prom or any event that screams ballgowns. No. I am not lesbo. I just think the androgyny of wearing a suit is perfect for me because it's so unusual and modern. This classic Le Smoking jacket and trousers from Yves Saint Laurent is the one I had in mind.(Wala lang. Waiter lang ang peg)
That, or something like Kim Kardashian's here.
I remember watching this episode of Gossip Girl and simply falling in love with Blair's whole look. She definitely fits as Prom Queen especially in the arms of Nate, the Prom King. Her dress is so marvelous! It's Marchesa so meaning not only is it One-of-a-kind and you won't run into anyone wearing the same dress like ever, it's damn expensive. Sigh. I wish I was a made-up Rich Upper East Side High School Queen Bee like Blair.
Jenny wears the best outfits in Gossip Girl(especially in the latter seasons) so it's no surprise that I really loved this dress on her from Andrew Gn. When I first saw it, it made my jaw drop. It was breathtaking and unique and very Jenny so that means it's very me(minus the social climbing and losing my virginity to Chuck Bass part).
Her whole look in her Cotillion ball was also fantastic. Love the mixture of the romantic and formal black dress and her tough leather hand gloves. My dress in prom is also this formal black dress that falls above the ankles and probably I might steal Jenny's look here.
Anne Hathaway in the Les Miserable premiere. One word: WOW. The black Tom Ford Gown and shoes. OMG. THE SHOES! I would totally wear that. Her look is sexy without the bastos factor, which is perfect for prom. It's like she has this huge injury in the leg that has black bandages wrapped around it, but gorge nonetheless. BONUS: I MIGHT HELP OUT IN CLEANING AFTER THE PROM THANKS TO THAT GARBAGE BAG ON THE BACK OF THAT DRESS. ;D
Kate Blanchett in Alexander McQueen. Very futuristic and unusual which I think is great for Prom. I don't know how you can sit in that, but the length and cut of this is great for dancing the whole night long. Imagine if my date(if ever I have one!)twirls me while I'm wearing this. Talo pa ang Disco ball sa akin!
Kate Middleton in Jenny Packham. My darling Blair also wore a dress similar to this in an episode of GG but I loved this look on Kate better. It looks so beautiful. She's so beautiful. And the hair and makeup is a complete contrast to the sparkly pink and silver oeverload of the dress because it's natural and effortless.
Confession: It's like this secret dream of mine to wear a tux to Prom or any event that screams ballgowns. No. I am not lesbo. I just think the androgyny of wearing a suit is perfect for me because it's so unusual and modern. This classic Le Smoking jacket and trousers from Yves Saint Laurent is the one I had in mind.(Wala lang. Waiter lang ang peg)
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
New Year
Whenever a New Year comes, I always look back at what I did the whole year. Did I improve for the better or the worse? Where there events that just struck me hard? Did I meet anyone who affected me somehow?
Most especially, I ask myself did my life change in some way?
I always hate looking back at this year with what-ifs. There were things that happened to me that I never wanted to happen. There were things I did that I wish I never did and there were things I said I wish I never said.
I hate looking back at every mistake because I know I would never go back in time and make them over.
But the New Year means new possibilities. It means I have the chance to make myself a better person than I was in 2012.
I should stop thinking about all the bad stuff of 2012 and instead cherish the good memories. Stuff—whether grand or simple—worth looking back at with a smile and thinking, “Hey, 2012 wasn’t bad after all.”
Happy New Year, guise. :)
picture: tarafirma
Monday, December 31, 2012
The Price of Being Personal
Hey guys. Sorry for the super duper long delay of posts in this blog. It's just I've been more active in my personal Tumblr which is so much like my online diary to the point I talk about personal stuff like my crush and enemies and my past. Technically, it's a place where I pour my soul into when I couldn't in my everday life.
But isn't it stupid you would probably think. What if some person comes across my online diary and reads my whole soul there? And doesn't it defeat the purpose of secrecy, revealing personal things in the world wide web? Maybe. But in my opinion, I feel much better typing about it rather than keeping a diary or journal for reasons I can't explain. Somehow, with all the personal stuff I write I want them to be heard even if I keep them from the rest of the world when I'm out with people.
It's a risk, too. I once wrote about how much I had some problems with some people in school and after a while, those people confronted to me about it. About how they found that blog of mine, I would never know. They never told me anyway. But the thing is since I am a bit reserved to myself about how I feel towards other people, I give it all out on my blog.
Also, some people in school read about my love life. Something so personal yet I reveal so much in my blog. But not too much. Just stuff that seems relevant to me. I write mostly about the guy I like or sometimes, about guys I've liked in the past. No matter how much I keep stuff like that a mystery in school, the persons who read about it will tend to ask who is it I'm referring to which is something I try to escape since I detail sometimes some kilig incidents(but I never reveal names. WTH would I do that?Haha).
Everything in the internet is written in ink. Even if I delete whatever I wrote in the past, it will always leave a mark somehow. I am now careful about what I write...er, type pala. About people. About incidents. About everything. Sure, it feels good to type out what happened in your day or how you feel but sometimes, there are things that are meant to keep to yourself whether it's that uber kilig moment with your crush or how much you loathe someone. :)
But isn't it stupid you would probably think. What if some person comes across my online diary and reads my whole soul there? And doesn't it defeat the purpose of secrecy, revealing personal things in the world wide web? Maybe. But in my opinion, I feel much better typing about it rather than keeping a diary or journal for reasons I can't explain. Somehow, with all the personal stuff I write I want them to be heard even if I keep them from the rest of the world when I'm out with people.
It's a risk, too. I once wrote about how much I had some problems with some people in school and after a while, those people confronted to me about it. About how they found that blog of mine, I would never know. They never told me anyway. But the thing is since I am a bit reserved to myself about how I feel towards other people, I give it all out on my blog.
Also, some people in school read about my love life. Something so personal yet I reveal so much in my blog. But not too much. Just stuff that seems relevant to me. I write mostly about the guy I like or sometimes, about guys I've liked in the past. No matter how much I keep stuff like that a mystery in school, the persons who read about it will tend to ask who is it I'm referring to which is something I try to escape since I detail sometimes some kilig incidents(but I never reveal names. WTH would I do that?Haha).
Everything in the internet is written in ink. Even if I delete whatever I wrote in the past, it will always leave a mark somehow. I am now careful about what I write...er, type pala. About people. About incidents. About everything. Sure, it feels good to type out what happened in your day or how you feel but sometimes, there are things that are meant to keep to yourself whether it's that uber kilig moment with your crush or how much you loathe someone. :)
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Hate on Me
To be honest, there are more people who don’t like me in school than those who like me. And I’m not a bitch to begin with.
I get the term “weird” from them like all the fucking time. Why? I like being weird but what these people mean when they use it on me is so wrong. It’s meant negatively. Just because I like bands they’ve never even heard of or would rather listen to the teacher’s lectures instead of flirting with my classmates or never even had a boyfriend doesn’t make me bad. If you are smart enough to know, it’s the opposite. Do I really have to do bad just to get on the good side of people in my school?
Sometimes, I wonder if it’s just me. My siblings blame me a lot for the majority of hate I get. I just don’t adapt or even try to fit in. They tell me to try to alter my personality or my differences a bit. Don’t stand out too much. I call that “being plastic”. I don’t even try to stand out but I guess that just comes because I’m not like everyone.
Admittedly, I sometimes cry when I think of the taunts or reception I get in school. And they just get worse day by day. But most people are ignorant AND arrogant in that wasteland. I can’t change that. If people waste their time obsessing on what I am not, it’s their problem, not mine. I like who I am. At least I’m not slutty or lazy or cheap.
So…yeah. I may have more people who don’t like me but at least those who actually do like me appreciate me for who I really am.As the late and great Kurt Cobain says, “I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.” :)
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Neil Armstrong Dies at the Age of 82
Neil Armstrong, former astronaut and forever a hero, has died at the age of 82 due to complications from cardiovascular procedures.
He is also well-known for commanding the Apollo 11 mission to the moon with Michael Collins and Buzz Aldrin.
He is also well-known for commanding the Apollo 11 mission to the moon with Michael Collins and Buzz Aldrin.
And also, he is forever marked in our minds and history books as the very first man on the moon.
"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," he said as 600 million people watched him walk out in the moon on their televisions.
Mr. Armstrong is also known to be a very private and humble man. He always thought that his huge accomplishments were not only that of his, but thousands as well.
i can't help but upload another pic! He's kinda good-looking, too! ;D
May you rest in peace, Neil. :)
It's Gonna Be Okay
For the longest time, I've suffered with inner demons. It made me emotionally unstable for a long time and wish I could just disappear from the face of the earth. Thing is, I had to hide that fact from everyone. I felt that no one would understand.
Call me sad. Call me lonely. Call me depressed. There's so much words to describe that kind of intense loneliness but to be honest, I cannot even begin about the emotional torments I had to endure for years.
To be honest, I don't know when it started. All I know is I was young. Not too young, though. As I got older, more personal problems ensued thus escalating my depression. That was when everything went crazy.
I remember crying a few times a day, everyday for a few months. That happened when I left my old school. I can't stand leaving the one place that made me happy; I was so depressed at home with every personal problem I had to go through. My friends made me happy and walking through those gates did, too. I just missed it too much.
My deep sadness started getting deeper. It was beyond my disappointment with leaving such a great school and personal problems at home; it was already within me already. The times I would cry, it would be for so many reasons: self-pity, emotional turmoils, etc but at the same there would be no reason at all. I hated my life. I didn't have the energy to do anything. I was suicidal, too. Suicide crossed my mind more times than anything. I was too afraid to hold a knife, especially the ones that are so big and sharp. I couldn't trust myself to do so because I know I might harm myself. But at the same time, I was too afraid to die. I can't fathom the thought. I feared death just when I thought about it too much. Isn't that weird?
As time started getting rougher, my poor little heart couldn't take it. My eyes were always swollen. I didn't fix myself up anymore. I just lost interest in EVERYTHING. What made it worse was I felt I had to face my inner demons alone. I tried telling my sister I was depressed, but she didn't get it and forgot about it. That hit me hard. I had no one whom I could tell how I feel. No shoulder to cry on. No one. I felt ALONE
But beneath all that sadness, I always had that one spark of hope in me. Hope that everything will get better, eventually. I may not live the ideal kind of life, but I have so much things to be grateful for. I was alive and healthy. I had all the chances in the world--even if it seemed really impossible then--to go out and work on my goals.
Now, I'm much happier. Sure, I can't help but weep or breakdown sometimes but I know I experience a little rain while walking down to that road to eternal happiness. I still have those inner demons and am still battling them. I also have other demons(Read: Bullies and haters)to fight, too. But I know I could make it. I can't let them make me feel like I'll give up on my life. I have so much to live for.
I also have some good friends whom I told my depression about, and they help me somehow in their own way to keep me strong. But I know it's all up to me to defeat it. So technically, I'm still facing it alone but at least not as lonely anymore.
Truth be told, I sometimes can't believe it that I made it at the age of 17. I've always feared that I might give in to my suicidal thoughts and depression then. Maybe all we need when we feel extreme depression is that one spark of hope that someday we will make it out of it. :)
Call me sad. Call me lonely. Call me depressed. There's so much words to describe that kind of intense loneliness but to be honest, I cannot even begin about the emotional torments I had to endure for years.
To be honest, I don't know when it started. All I know is I was young. Not too young, though. As I got older, more personal problems ensued thus escalating my depression. That was when everything went crazy.
I remember crying a few times a day, everyday for a few months. That happened when I left my old school. I can't stand leaving the one place that made me happy; I was so depressed at home with every personal problem I had to go through. My friends made me happy and walking through those gates did, too. I just missed it too much.
My deep sadness started getting deeper. It was beyond my disappointment with leaving such a great school and personal problems at home; it was already within me already. The times I would cry, it would be for so many reasons: self-pity, emotional turmoils, etc but at the same there would be no reason at all. I hated my life. I didn't have the energy to do anything. I was suicidal, too. Suicide crossed my mind more times than anything. I was too afraid to hold a knife, especially the ones that are so big and sharp. I couldn't trust myself to do so because I know I might harm myself. But at the same time, I was too afraid to die. I can't fathom the thought. I feared death just when I thought about it too much. Isn't that weird?
As time started getting rougher, my poor little heart couldn't take it. My eyes were always swollen. I didn't fix myself up anymore. I just lost interest in EVERYTHING. What made it worse was I felt I had to face my inner demons alone. I tried telling my sister I was depressed, but she didn't get it and forgot about it. That hit me hard. I had no one whom I could tell how I feel. No shoulder to cry on. No one. I felt ALONE
But beneath all that sadness, I always had that one spark of hope in me. Hope that everything will get better, eventually. I may not live the ideal kind of life, but I have so much things to be grateful for. I was alive and healthy. I had all the chances in the world--even if it seemed really impossible then--to go out and work on my goals.
Now, I'm much happier. Sure, I can't help but weep or breakdown sometimes but I know I experience a little rain while walking down to that road to eternal happiness. I still have those inner demons and am still battling them. I also have other demons(Read: Bullies and haters)to fight, too. But I know I could make it. I can't let them make me feel like I'll give up on my life. I have so much to live for.
I also have some good friends whom I told my depression about, and they help me somehow in their own way to keep me strong. But I know it's all up to me to defeat it. So technically, I'm still facing it alone but at least not as lonely anymore.
Truth be told, I sometimes can't believe it that I made it at the age of 17. I've always feared that I might give in to my suicidal thoughts and depression then. Maybe all we need when we feel extreme depression is that one spark of hope that someday we will make it out of it. :)
Monday, August 13, 2012
Thoughts on Habagat
This post was written last week, during the merciless reign of that stupid Habagat. I just thought of putting it here.
So You Guys Have heard about the storm here in the Philippines? It’s really terrible. The last time we were in a state of calamity like this was nearly three years ago when a similar(though nothing comparable)storm hit us.
The last time I went out was last Wednesday which had the most devastating rains. Ever. At first, it was sunny so we thought “hey, let’s go out. Let’s buy more supplies and let’s go with my dad to his weekly novena in this church 2 millions miles away from home.” Then it fucking rained. Then it stopped. Then it rained harder. Then the cycle goes on and on. My brother had to call home and my sister told him “Oh yeah the flood inside and outside the house that was thigh-high? It’s like stomach deep already.” Which is kinda low in our area since the others are above man level already.
Going home was a pain. It was hard commuting to Baclaran Church(the church my Dad goes to every Wednesday and despite the rains, he was so adamant to go since it was Baclaran day and shit) but it was somewhat easier to go home though hard in the eyes to see the roads going home so flooded. Like the roads in my school was literally a lake during the storm(until now). I see my friends houses so flooded and all. No one is spared in this storm. Not even my rich friends who lived in the exclusive area(which have, like, 10 foot floods and will literally take a few months to vanish). And especially not my friends who live in the lower parts of the area(their houses are fully submerged because they live near the river).
One week of no classes, though most will be happy about it at the mere mention, was hell. Next week is exams week and we have tons to tackle this week had not the strong Southwest Monsoon made us suffer like this. It gives me time to finish my projects for my clearance, but I still get distracted with the fact that the Pacific Ocean is on the lower level of my house or it’s raining cats and dogs outside.
It’s raining now. It’s been a day. We had better weather yesterday. And the weather forecasters say there’s gonna be another LPA which I hope won’t escalate to another monsoon. Let’s just hope it won’t affect this country. It’s been through much already. Too much.
So You Guys Have heard about the storm here in the Philippines? It’s really terrible. The last time we were in a state of calamity like this was nearly three years ago when a similar(though nothing comparable)storm hit us.
The last time I went out was last Wednesday which had the most devastating rains. Ever. At first, it was sunny so we thought “hey, let’s go out. Let’s buy more supplies and let’s go with my dad to his weekly novena in this church 2 millions miles away from home.” Then it fucking rained. Then it stopped. Then it rained harder. Then the cycle goes on and on. My brother had to call home and my sister told him “Oh yeah the flood inside and outside the house that was thigh-high? It’s like stomach deep already.” Which is kinda low in our area since the others are above man level already.
Going home was a pain. It was hard commuting to Baclaran Church(the church my Dad goes to every Wednesday and despite the rains, he was so adamant to go since it was Baclaran day and shit) but it was somewhat easier to go home though hard in the eyes to see the roads going home so flooded. Like the roads in my school was literally a lake during the storm(until now). I see my friends houses so flooded and all. No one is spared in this storm. Not even my rich friends who lived in the exclusive area(which have, like, 10 foot floods and will literally take a few months to vanish). And especially not my friends who live in the lower parts of the area(their houses are fully submerged because they live near the river).
One week of no classes, though most will be happy about it at the mere mention, was hell. Next week is exams week and we have tons to tackle this week had not the strong Southwest Monsoon made us suffer like this. It gives me time to finish my projects for my clearance, but I still get distracted with the fact that the Pacific Ocean is on the lower level of my house or it’s raining cats and dogs outside.
It’s raining now. It’s been a day. We had better weather yesterday. And the weather forecasters say there’s gonna be another LPA which I hope won’t escalate to another monsoon. Let’s just hope it won’t affect this country. It’s been through much already. Too much.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)